Did you catch part 1 to this goals series? In the last post, I introduced why I decided to do a Goal Series in a sea of so many articles out there on goals. Today, I am continuing with points 2 and 3 of the with 5 Key Principles to Making Successful Goals. Catch up on Part 1 here.
Last week I left you with a question. What happens when you lose that intrinsic motivation and you forget the reason why you started (those goals)? Answering that question brings me to point 2.
2. Make sure your goals are in your heart and not just in your head.
Most of us have created goals we want to achieve with good intentions. For example what happens on January 1st of a new year? Yeah you know New Year’s resolution. I’m going to do this (fill in the blank), I am going to start this (fill in the blank) etc. Plenty of people make those resolutions but according to an average estimate only 8% of people actually keep their New Year’s resolutions according to Forbes. Sure New Year’s resolutions have been made fun of sometimes but when you think of the bigger picture, it gets to you. How many people have quit working towards their goals? Have they developed bad habits like quitting when faced with challenges?
When I started college, I literally failed my 1st year of college. My grades were lower than a supply of lights after Christmas. After countless low grades, tears and even some not so graceful moments of throwing my school books, I quit. I got myself dressed one morning and I was going to school to withdrawal completely. I quit… in my head. When I was almost finished getting dressed, this sick feeling came over me. I remembered my goals. I remembered what I had set out to do. It was in that moment I realized that my passion for my goals was truly in my heart.
What happened? I lost my intrinsic motivation for my goals. What kicked in? My passion. Passion is the fuel so to speak to intrinsic motivation. Passion for your goals is deeper because it can become a part of who you are and what you strive to be. Passion, according to psychologist Dr. Vallerand, means that you not only like something but you are willing to invest time and energy into it.
Goals take time and energy to achieve. This is why
How do you know if your goals are in your heart? You will know because when you are faced with challenges, and you want to quit, something inside of you will tell you not to quit. It will be something in your heart that you cannot put aside or let go. It will be a goal that you keep coming back to no matter how long you push it aside or give up on it when it is a challenge. This brings me the next point.
3. Just because your goals take a lot of time or work, does not mean they are not meant to be.
I think often times people quit too soon because either they are not seeing the results, and nothing changes, or they think it is not meant to be especially when times get hard. Usually these two reasons are intertwined together. Everyone likes to get results. People believe what they see. We live in a drive thru, instant, the world at our finger tips kind of society. We are use to getting information fast, food fast, or a car ride fast. Everything is just a finger tap on an App away. What happens though is in real life, getting results does not always work that way. Calling an Uber is not the same process as a goal of starting a company. One can be ordered with a few taps on your phone, the other requires a few knocks on doors, a few phone calls, a few investments, a few budget plans, a few months, a few years maybe several years.
It is easy to throw in the towel and say forget this when things are taking a while to accomplish. But if it was easy everyone would do it. But you are not just everyone. You are a fighter. Your goals matter. Just because you do not see your goals happening, and they are taking more work than planned, does not mean they are not meant to be. If I turned on the oven, put cake batter in the oven, and came back a minute later and said forget this. This thing is not ready. Well I guess it was not meant for me. That would be silly right? Someone would say hello Naomi you just put it in. It takes time. What if I let the cake batter take its time to cook, took it out, then I immediately tried to get the cake out of the pan. I waited the time right? Yes but there is another step. The cool down. It is a process. Goals are a process. Even though that is a silly analogy and I hope I did not make you crave cake but (if I did then your welcome). I hope you see my point. If your goals are for the right reasons, and they are truly in your heart, time will be just a piece of cake (see what I did there). The joy that can come from pursuing your goals will keep you going even when you are faced with challenges. This is why it is important to celebrate all the victories along the way. Each step in the process matters and this is why it is crucial to make…. The wrap up and points 4 and 5 of 5 key principles to making successful goals on this Goal Series is coming up next.
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Love, Naomi Noel
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