It Started with Barbie: Overcoming the Comparison Game

 

Comparison

It Started with Barbie…. Like most little girls, I loved Barbie Dolls. The innocence of dressing up my Barbie’s and making up stories of what my Barbie’s were doing for the day lasted many years in my early childhood. But even at the early age of 2, I started to play the comparison game.

I’m sure it must have shocked my mom the day I said, “Mom I don’t want my brown hair and brown eyes. It’s ugly.” My mom asked why I would say such a thing. I told her that I wanted blonde hair and blue eyes because then I could be pretty. All my Barbie dolls had blonde hair and blue eyes and I thought I had to look like that to be pretty. In my innocence, I compared myself to my Barbie’s and thought that I wasn’t enough. Though I was just 2, I took to heart the words my Mom said to me. Naomi, Barbie Dolls come in all shapes and sizes. Each little girl is beautiful in their own way”. I carry those words still today but honestly too many times I have forgotten that lesson.

Comparing my appearance to my Barbie dolls turned into comparing myself to the other girls in dance class. I put myself down wishing if only I could be more flexible and faster with my movement. I compared myself in school to my peer’s grades and I put myself down for not getting perfect grades. I compared myself after high school when all my peers went to nice colleges and I stayed local because I had to pay for college. All of a sudden whatever blessings I had was not as good as someone else’s life.

In reality, the constant comparison of my life to everyone else was pitiful. My pity party never closed down. I kept renewing the space for my pity party each year. Now at this point in my life, falling for the comparison game is more tempting than ever. When all my peers and those I grew up with are getting married, having kids, and buying houses with white picket fences; I tell myself that I am behind and old. As a blogger, I compare myself to other bloggers because I am not growing as fast. The comparison cycle is hard to break. It is a dangerous and dizzy ride.

Effects of Comparison 

Truthfully, negative comparison is a major struggle in the world today, especially with the saturation of social media. Now more than ever we get to see people’s lives and most often times we just see the good highlights. We don’t see the whole story. Yet we still get caught up in the comparison game.

I see people compare every single ounce of who they are with someone or something they think might be better or have a better life. The struggle is real because everyone is trying to find their own identity and individuality. But participating in the comparison game is a sure way to never achieve those things. The comparison game is a game you never win; you’re never on top because you actually lower yourself to the bottom. Think about it. Negative Comparison is an unnecessary blow that weakness the necessary part of you that should be the strongest, which is your confidence, self-image, and self-esteem.  Nothing or no one is worth weakening that.

Comparison Game

Overcoming Comparison 

I don’t have any profound wisdom on how to overcome the comparison game. But I sure have found ways to get off the dangerous hamster wheel of comparison. One of my favorite things about life is having goals. I have goals that are my own goals. My goals might happen to be exact to some else on this planet but that person isn’t me. There is only one of me. Thank God because I am stubborn lol.

Next, this seems so cliché but I remind myself who I am when I start comparing myself negatively. Have you seen Lion King? If not, I’m going to say a prayer for you lol. When Mufasa appeared in the clouds to his son Simba, he could have said a lot of things, but he said remember who you are”. That’s powerful. Remind yourself that you are beautiful and have a purpose for being here on earth. All the times spent comparing your looks or your size or your credentials to someone else, is not your purpose.

Finally, surround yourself with those who lift you up. Having friends and family in your life that encourage you and remind you how special you are makes all the difference. It isn’t always easy to find quality people these days but when you do hold onto that. The quote says “being loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone gives you courage.” That love can be family love or friendship love or romantic love. When you have people in your life lifting you up, it gives you that strength because they already embrace who you are. It’s time we all embrace who we are.

The battle of the comparison game is quite a nasty blood bath that I hope we can all recognize its detrimental effects. I would rather spend my energy and time pushing myself to be the best I can be. I do believe in looking up to people who are successful and have great qualities. But I have my own lane to run and they have theirs.

I hope I always apply the lesson my mom taught me at 2. The lesson that I am enough and comparing myself to others will get me nowhere. My mom bought me a Barbie doll for my 3rd birthday. That Barbie doll had thick, crazy, wild brown hair and dark brown eyes like me. It felt nice to have a Barbie I could relate to but it was my mom’s wise counsel that really sunk into my heart forever. Even though it was just a Barbie, it was a life lesson. The journey of life comes in all shapes and sizes too. I’m going to stick with the one I got because this is the life I get to live.

Thank you for reading today’s inspirational post!

Overcoming the Comparison Game


Take care,



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44 thoughts on “It Started with Barbie: Overcoming the Comparison Game

  1. This post is so great girl! I love that you shared this! I struggle with comparing myself to others all the time.

  2. Loved reading this post! I have been guilty of getting suck into the comparison game, but I’ve been trying to get better at it!
    xoxo,
    Amy

  3. Oh girl, I can so relate to this. I have brownish-black hair and green eyes and as a kid I thought I was a freak. It wasn’t until college when I made a best friend with blonde hair and blue eyes…one day we were at lunch and she said she wish she could switch hair and eye color with me! And I laughed and said well I wish I could switch it with you! Then we both laughed and realized that we are programmed to want what we don’t have. These days I’m much more appreciative of my brunette status.

  4. Naomi this is truly beautiful and I’m so happy you shared your feelings with us. I don’t know about other ladies but I can totally relate with you. We have to constant remind ourselves that we are loved, we are worth and we are badasses girl bosses!!!! Cheers my friend 🙂

  5. Such amazing topic for today’s world. Thank you so much for addressing what each of us struggle with ofttimes on a daily basis. God bless, Naomi Noel.

  6. Love this post and I love what your mom said to you early on! So glad to hear you keep that message so dear to you! So much love and applause for sharing this post!

  7. I love the quote– “it robs you of uniqueness” and happiness and so many other things! I’m totally guilty of doing this myself, especially in the blogging world. This was a nice reminder to stop!

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