Becoming is More Important Than Uniting: A Different Love Story

Lilac Lace Bell Sleeve Dress

I grew up in the South which had more traditional views, like women often get married young. Some families in my circle had an opinion that a marriage proposal should be soon after a high school diploma. So while my gal peers got a husband, kid(s), and the white picket fence after high school, I got 3 degrees, loan debt, and adult braces. Even while I sit here as a single gal writing this post with a box of Valentine’s Russell Stover Chocolates I bought myself, I rebel against the idea that I’m a bird that never flew. I am on mission; a mission to become to the best version of me.

February rings songs of love and tales of happily ever after. The reflections of real life love stories seem to be talked about most for Valentine’s Day. I see and read these stories on social media and in the world around. Somehow those who do not have a significant other this time of year, are collectively lumped together to celebrate Single Awareness Day. It is a humorous gesture in theory but exhausting in context to think of another Valentine’s alone and strategies to someone fix that.

That’s the problem. Singlehood has somehow become a word that is treated like a disease that is only cured with finding “the one”. Singlehood is also called a state or a period of life when someone is incomplete in life without a partner. Those are not my original theories but rather the rhetoric that has been drilled at times by society and more personally the circle I grew up in. But the theory I chose to subscribe to, forever impacted my life, “Becoming is more important than uniting”.

Louie Giglio, a profound speaker who most often speaks to young adults, said “The key to life is to become someone more than it is to find somebody.” He went on to say becoming Miss or Mr. Right is more important than finding Miss or Mr. Right. This message is a drastically different message than a lot of young people like myself have been given and yes particularly single people. Singlehood should not be a fixation on the state of singleness but should be championed as a season of becoming the best version of oneself.

Lilac Dress with Bell Sleeves

I struggle with the idea that when one gets married, it means one is finally complete. Instead, I believe that you should be complete in yourself first before uniting. Yes, I believe a wonderful partner can complement and add to ones’ life. Yes, we are all imperfect people and that special partner will accept their loved ones flaws. But what good is it to find someone and to not be someone who is whole? Being the best version of you does not mean perfection, it means that one has come to peace with who they are and they are growing to be a better person every day. That is beautiful life story.

The life story of becoming the best version of yourself is not just for self improvement but to better give back with love to the world around. The amazing point is that this story doesn’t have to stop when one becomes married because it is a life story.

A life story of becoming a great someone is one that can keep being written and talked about even beyond one’s life.

Life is full of seasons that come and go and we all truly have different paths and timings. But a life story is a journey that should be most prioritized with becoming the best version of you even more so than uniting with somebody. Becoming is more important than uniting.

I challenge myself to the mission of becoming. I am not desperate to find someone but desperate to be a great someone. I am strengthened by every challenge I face that shapes me into a better person. I am empowered in every moment I give back to someone else. I am on a mission to become the best version of me. If a love story happens in my life fine, but if not, I am not worried. I am more interested in my life story of becoming than a love story of uniting. I am on a mission to become everything God wants me to be.

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Becoming is More Important Than Uniting

Love, Naomi Noel



19 thoughts on “Becoming is More Important Than Uniting: A Different Love Story

  1. Well said Naomi! Embracing singleness helps us develop character, patience, and independence. It helps us to find our identity in Jesus, rather than in a spouse, partner, or significant other. While we know that God has the best for us, it is also up to us to become the “best” for that person when God’s timing comes. Enjoy this season of singleness while you can, and be ready for the next season when God’s timing is right! Thanks for sharing the importance of becoming!

  2. This is a good mission and so key!
    Though Two can get a good return,Two broken people will not make a whole.20’s is a time for growing and transition.
    This so prepares for all the decades ahead and all that we are called to pour into- whatever that future looks like!

  3. Great post! This is such great advice… You really can’t attract the right mate or stay in a healthy relationship, until you are a healthy and happy version of yourself first.



  4. I really loved reading this!! And I totally agree with how one adds to your life and doesn’t complete you!

  5. Words of wisdom indeed Naomi! That blush lace dress looks so sweet on u and yup, there is nothing wrong being single if u’re comfortable being alone and pursue the best version of u. Hope you enjoyed your V Day nonetheless πŸ˜‰

  6. I think before to start to love someone you should love your self and be happy with yourself, this helps us to understand what we want πŸ™‚ Love this post, and the dress is so beautiful!

  7. What a beautiful single girl who Im sure wont stay single too long:) Yes, I agree the pressure on couples comes on strong on Valentines but who cares! You are single and FABULOUS
    kisses Sharka

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